The last dumb cell phone in America

An exaggeration, certainly, though when I ride public transport it doesn't feel like one.  The only time I see phones like this any more are in the hands of elderly relatives who as a general rule don't turn them on.  I'm not anti-technology but I am, as I've noted several times before, an egregiously late adopter.  Indeed I resisted the mobile phone revolution for an exceptionally long time (and used to quip that I considered being inaccessible by telephone to be a feature rather than a bug of going outside), until 2005 when I found myself frequently out and about with an infant in tow and it started to feel stupid and irresponsible to not avail myself of the technology.  I went for the absolute bottom tier, a barely internet connected Nokia on prepaid minutes.  I used its online connectivity exactly once, to email myself a photo of my child a friend had texted me.  In the midst of that transaction T-Mobile actually interjected a friendly message chiding me over the fact that my handset could not provide me with a "rich media experience".  Duly noted.  I probably made it about 3 years before I sent my first text.  I still basically despise texting.  It's battery finally started to go after 5 years, but I managed to forestall its demise by locating a alternative brand replacement (searching for batteries for the telephone was complicated by the huge number of dodgy aftermarket battery resellers, one presumes an outlet for Chinese electrotrash recyclers, who offered great prices but routinely generated unhappy reviews by individuals who insisted that they had been sold a clearly used battery as new.  I thought I might get another 3 years out of it.

To make a long and uneventful story short(er) anyway last night I did something I'd somehow managed to avoid for 6 years: I left it in the pocket of a pair of pants and proceeded to wash and dry it.  To its credit, nothing exploded and the only visual effect the process had on it was that it looked very clean.  I even suffered hope briefly when after apprehensively plugging it in for a few minutes it actually powered up, albeit with the T-mobile launch tune sounding a bit scratchy and garbled.  My contacts appeared to be intact.  Half an hour later though it was displaying nothing and plugging it in further elicited only a dangerous-sounding crackling hiss from the speaker.

Now what?  Though I, yes, despise texting and have been extremely comfortable rationing out an 8 to 12 dollar a month prepaid minute habit, I'm still wholly dependent on having the thing now and can't imagine going long without one.  I left the house on an errand this morning and was well out the door when I realized I had no method of telling the time about my person.  But what next?  The options are absurd.  I'm certainly not feeling up for a 50 - 70 dollar new monthly bill. Is there even such a thing as a prepaid smart phone?  This is exactly why I have been avoiding this moment for so long.  Its outcome, I'd guess, will end up as fodder for a subsequent posting.